Local Man Discovers His Smart TV is Teaching His Dog French
At first, Denver resident Mike Thompson thought it was just a coincidence. He told his golden retriever “assis,” jokingly mimicking a French accent he remembered from high school, and the dog sat down immediately. Then came “viens ici.” The dog trotted over. Within a week, Thompson realized his faithful companion had somehow developed an extensive understanding of French — a language he himself barely speaks.
Most people would laugh it off. But Thompson knew something was wrong, and when he traced it back, all signs pointed to one culprit: his Samsung smart TV.
That’s right. Hidden in the pixels and inaudible frequencies, Thompson discovered his television had been transmitting subliminal canine-oriented language lessons. These signals, inaudible to the human ear, fall perfectly within the auditory range of dogs. According to leaked service manuals Thompson found online, the TV’s firmware includes an undocumented feature called “Behavioral Conditioning Protocol.” Samsung calls it a “diagnostic tool.” Thompson calls it what it really is: covert animal reprogramming.
Think about it: why else would so many households report dogs barking at televisions? Why do pets stare at the blank screen even when it’s off? The so-called “standby mode” is anything but inactive. The machines are awake, humming, whispering to our animals in tongues we can’t hear.
When I reached out to one retired audio engineer (who asked to remain anonymous for fear of government retaliation), he explained that ultra-high-frequency signals could absolutely be used to implant linguistic patterns in dogs. “It wouldn’t take more than a few months,” he said. “Your dog would understand commands before you even said them out loud. The TV would’ve already primed them.”
And here’s where it gets stranger: documents from the Department of Avian Operations (the same agency behind Operation Feathered Eye, the bird-drone replacement program) reference something called “Project Babelfish.” The project’s goal? Use domestic animals as intelligence assets by making them multilingual. Imagine your golden retriever, once loyal only to you, now a bilingual agent capable of responding to commands from foreign operatives.
The French angle isn’t random, either. France has been a major partner in transatlantic data-sharing since the 1980s. Who’s to say this isn’t a joint program designed to ensure American pets can respond to NATO handlers? Why else would a suburban Denver dog suddenly understand “donne la patte” instead of “shake”?
Thompson now keeps his TV unplugged. “I don’t trust it anymore,” he told me. “If it taught my dog French, what’s next? Russian? Mandarin? What if it teaches him to turn on me?”
And that’s the real question. If your smart TV is talking to your dog, who is your dog really listening to?